BLACKFISH BLUES

(find an updated version here: My ASOIAF Live Reviews)

L'ho già detto che odio la mia vita?

When you live with an imaginary man you're not free from problems. There's the relief of knowing you can't hurt him, contrary to having a real man; but it still can hurt YOU like hell. By now you've guessed which of my ASOIAF men won my strongest affections. It surprised me that it should be him; somewhere, someone is growling in jealousy. But Brynden touched my heart, through a mix of identification, mystery and sheer coolness. Also he's easy to write about and there is lots to discover about him, while Sandor has a well-defined story that I find satisfying already. So I've written two fanfics (sorry, GRRM) and were it for me I'd stop here, but who can predict such things? The first one was a blast, it saved me from a pit of depression and lovelessness. I'm in love with the man: I've been in love with real men, and I can tell you there's absolutely no difference. This is bad, for the reasons I've detailed below. But the more I care for him, the more I'll go out of my mind when GRRM kills him off in some macabre and shameful manner. I should be prepared for it, since I already believed he'd die at the Red Wedding. But that was before I really fell hard for him. And I hadn't visited the HP universe for years when JKR killed off my favourite guy, but it was madly painful all the same. (And I STILL maintain I have objective reasons to be pissed!) There is a learning aspect in this. If ever I become a published writer and churn out a massive saga, I'll take good care of my characters. Even now, if I introduce a small character, you can be sure he'll have his glory moments and his development, and if he dies, there'll be a damn good reason. My characters don't serve the plot, they serve each other. Beside a well-developed, suspenseful plot, I love nothing more than character interaction. YES, there was great character interaction with Mr. Brooke in "Terra Incognita", but someone had to die. It was foreshadowed from the beginning, and it's a real tragedy that it had to be a character well-loved both by his comrades and his readers, but I think I gave him a spectacular death and all the space he could get before that - on-screen! - and I showed the consequences of his death on the survivors. They were all changed by it, not just saddled with an adopted kid. I'm not saying I'm better than JKR and GRRM. I'm just trying to explain "as a writer" why some aspects of their books disappointed me "as a reader". I know this is particularly unfair to GRRM because he hasn't finished his saga yet, but I've been burned by JKR - as unfair as this is on my part - and by the emotional manipulation in "A Feast For Crows" I've mentioned before. I fear that Martin has come to the point that he's killing people left and right to simplify the plot. That's why I was talking about taking care of characters. They are like pets: if you're not able to care for them, don't buy them. Don't build a whole universe knowing you can't handle your material. But I know how fickle inspiration can be. Us writers are at its mercy. Maybe he was more confident at the beginning, but from what he himself is saying lately, he's painted himself into a corner. I don't want to be unfair to him too, but I'm pessimist, if not downright paranoid like some readers. So I fear some random Frey will throw Bryn's mangled head at Jaime's feet, who will be sorry to see his childhood hero come to such an end. Ooookay, that's character development, but not exactly what I would like. I fear that for GRRM the plot comes before the characters, and all characters are only instrumental to the plot and to the protagonists, Jon Snow, Daenerys and Tyrion ("three heads has the dragon..."). All the others are disposable. I don't mean necessarily to criticize GRRM by this. It's like George Lucas HAD started telling his story from the beginning. You'd have 3 movies to fall in love with Obi-Wan, only to see him killed off in Episode 4. His death is done masterfully in E4, but it's because we've always known it as a stand-alone movie, and it still is despite the prequels. When you see young and handsome Ewan McGregor, you already know how he will die. I fear GRRM has done something like this. He wanted to tell the story of Jon, Daenerys and Tyrion, and started at the beginning. (Or almost. Oh my, he could have started with the fall of the Targaryens, and I'd be broken-hearted for the death of Arthur Dayne. We just can't win, GRRM and I.) So the story will see a slaughter of characters and sub-plots until the three finally get together. And since he's a good writer, these doomed characters and plots will be lovingly described, thus maximizing the readers' suffering. A couple of things give me a bad feeling about Brynden. Well, I know GRRM kills everybody, it's not this. I loved Bryn's escape from Riverrun, but it also left me perplexed. Shouldn't he sacrifice himself and let Edmure escape? NOT that I want this, and I'm convinced than one Blackfish under cover is worth more than a hundred Edmures with a hundred armies, still... He had also promised he'd keep Queen Jeyne safe, but how can he do it while in hiding? Also some readers don't like him because they consider his refusal to marry as a dereliction of duty. Is the only reason his stubborn, independent character? I admit that it sounds selfish, and I can't think of a good reason. Is he gay? Have someone else impregnate his wife. Is he in love with someone else? She's probably dead after 40 years. Has he taken some vow? Just say it and don't cause a lifelong rift with your brother, the Tullys deserve better. Ned too has a secret that he keeps even from Catelyn, causing her pain, but if you consider Jon's possible Targaryen origins and the promise to Lyanna, it makes perfect sense. Bryn has no such apparent good reason for his rebellious behaviour. What if GRRM were preparing an anti-Jaime, revealing that Brynden has been an a$$hole all the time? I feel I'm too stern both towards Brynden and GRRM. Maybe GRRM has a wonderful solution prepared for him (I have my own theory, I admit) but I can't help fretting about it. I trust GRRM so little that I can imagine Bryn's mysterious stubborness will never explained. I don't want everything to be explained: I'm fine if Sandor never appears again and we're left with the mysterious brother digging graves. But for Bryn, giving no explanations would really detract so much from his character. And finally, GRRM has revealed that the TV series will make a "Tom Bombadil", that is certain characters will have to be cut. Why do I have a premonition? This would really mean that GRRM has no plans to make anything meaningful of Bryn. Whew, I needed to vent this, else I wouldn't even be able to read the boards that discuss GRRM's revelations. Do I worry too much? So shoot me. Now maybe you understand a bit more why I don't want to read or watch ANYTHING new EVER. UPDATE (I always meant to finish the post with this and forgot): Ultimately it all comes down to the "A Beautiful Mind" quote: Would I embarrass you? Yes, it is possible. You see, I... I am crazy. I take the newer medications, but I still see things that are not here. I just choose not to acknowledge them. Like a diet of the mind, I choose not to indulge certain appetites. Like my appetite for patterns. Perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream.