Okay, I'm bitter about the Blackfish-maybe-not-in-S2-or-ever thing, but I can't write on the boards just HOW bitter. Then again this blog is linked everywhere, and everybody can read this, even GRRM and D&D. So I would like one thing to be clear: this is my PERSONAL opinion, Paola's opinion. In "public", Blackfish Blues will keep trying to be supportive, talk about the things she likes and criticize the others in a civilized manner.
Do I support GOT ONLY because this way we may get a S3 and a Blackfish? It could be, I admit it. I've loved the series, but I'm not much for TV - would I bother, if not for my Blackfishy hope? I don't know, seriously. In the same way, there might come a time when I'd not only have to force myself to be positive; I might have to force myself to participate in the fandom, write in the forums etc, and I might lose the struggle. It's a paradox. GRRM created Brynden, beside other people and stories I've come to love. Should I be ONLY grateful to him, and to D&D for making these stories live on the small screen? The way they are handling the lack of Blackfish (just tell us already!) is taking away that part of enjoyment I derive from the saga. Luckily I'm not so dependent from others for my enjoyment; I'd just go back to writing fanfic for myself. I'm trying to enjoy ASOIAF-GOT without the Blackfish, I swear, I am. After all, when I started I had no idea of his existence. But I can't ignore certain things. For example, ADWD bores me to death and there's a million books I'd rather read. Is it because I spoiled myself? Well, I was in terror at the thought of what might happen to the Blackfish. Also, I was unspoiled when I read AFFC, and I was sickened by the sheer amount of young girls horribly disfigured or maimed. At this very moment of my life I don't need other reasons for anxiety, thank you. And there are books I know by heart and keep re-reading, so being spoiled is relative. I think my attitude towards ADWD is somewhat of a revenge. I'm sorry, it's ugly, but it's likely. Same with how I can't bring myself to be excited for the casting for S2. I may praise actors and characters, but within myself I just don't care. So I feel that on the forums I just put up a brave face. I've explained below what the Blackfish means to me, and it's nobody's fault if he doesn't mean the same for GRRM or D&D. I try to be loyal, also knowing how much the public's support means for future seasons, but how long will I be able to? I know myself, I can't pretend. It's been an unlucky combination of circumstances for me; my current emotional weakness, Brynden's borderline status in the books, the books' unfinished condition, this co-dependence with the creators. I don't seek excuses: I'm trying to picture exactly how things stand for me. I've waited ages to press "post". If I wait more, it can only get worse. |