Maybe I'm just taking that quote the wrong way. "All cowards die a thousand deaths" does not mean "All who die a thousand deaths are cowards." Unfortunately many are convinced that this is true too, and that us "cowards" just need a good shake to "snap out of it". I believe this is among the goals of this blog: showing this is not true, suggesting methods to deal with us "cowards", and reflecting on society as a living organism which is a victim to the same mental pathologies of individuals. I'm sure someone else thought of this, but I'm not a sociologist, so forgive me if I'm re-inventing the wheel. Then again I don't see many using this approach in life, so maybe it's not that obvious. On 24, the "Sole 24 Ore" magazine, I found an article by Giovanni Jervis, psychiatrist and writer, which grabbed me from the start: "Psychiatry is able to identify the border between what must possibly be treated and what must be left to the freedom and the choices of the individual. But society still struggles to understand the differences." Yay, I thought, because I hoped he would explain how a lot of people who seem healthy have problems that must not be underestimated. I devoured the piece. It's very good, but I have the feeling that Dr. Jervis means the "border" in a restricted way. He goes as far as saying that sadness and melancholy can be normal in some periods, or after traumatic events. I agree with this. I myself hate it when someone, even in good faith, hovers over me asking continuously how I am, or worries about me and DOESN'T ask, when maybe the answer would be a perfectly normal reason of unhappiness, not a recurrence of depression. HOWEVER I believe that no disorder should be dismissed lightly. I know that it's hard to find a correct and effective or at least not hurtful reaction towards a sad person, I go through the same doubts when approaching friends who are not at their best, but I believe that in such cases we should always be guided by three principles: observation, prudence and frankness. Observation to notice the signs, prudence to avoid underestimating them, and frankness in approaching the person. Because after all, I do prefer friends and relatives asking me what's wrong (as long as it's not a 3rd grade questioning) than being dismissed as a poser in search of attention. The problem goes way beyond me. I'm depressed and anxious, but I also think I'm pretty strong. Heart shall be bolder and so on. This can be a drawback, because sometimes, by looking at me joking and taking control, nobody would believe the desperation I fight every day. My life is maybe irreparably ruined by this disorder, but I'm certainly stronger than many. If my worst nightmares come true and I end up old and alone, give me a computer and I'll do fine. I might even manage to finish my novels... ==; BUT, many don't have these resources, and their desperation must end up somewhere. That's why I get mad when I hear on the news of "mysterious" suicides and "unexplainable" slaughters, and the ever-present interview of the neighbours and the survivors (true pain pornography) who say: "Who could have imagined it, he was such a nice quiet person, he looked so normal..." HELL, I want to STOP hearing this sh!t. The other day I was at the hairdresser's and someone commented about the Erba massacre and how it was more scary because of the "normality" of the setting. I replied that I'm certainly shocked, disgusted and saddened by what happened, but not surprised. Because NORMALITY is not such an obvious word. It does exists, I'm sure, and in large quantities; in fact it's the very foundation of my faith in the world and humanity. All those "normal" people who live their lives quietly, work quietly for themselves and their community and will NEVER find their way to the "news" and TV debates. I think I know lots of them, making allowance for my own total lack of observation. But where does the line fall between "normal" and "Hitler"? How many tragedies could have been avoided by not taking "normality" for granted? (continued) |