I have to ramble and can't translate. Things have not been good for family reasons which I won't discuss here for now. Anyway my defences are pretty low. As it usually happens in these cases, I reacted three times in 4 days with my primal fight-or-flight reaction. Perceiving a threat, slashing out blindly in self-defence and running away, because staying would mean tearing out everybody's throat before they bring me down. The most stunning case happened today with a mess about going out to see the new HP movie. I probably made some mistakes about it, but never maliciously, yet I was accused exactly of this, and by people I considered friends and to whom I had never done a thing in the past. I immediately unsubscribed from my HP group. I could have stayed and explained, but the place had got too threatening for my taste. I know it's not right. I hope I'll manage to come back sometimes. But hell, my brain currently is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. The useful thing would be to find a remedy. |