My beast of burden is still working but hell! I'm tired of waiting! Part 1 Is Meryl Streep wearing a bathrobe? George Clooney looks better clean-shaven, pity that Antonio Banderas picked up his beard. STEVE MARTIN AND ALEC BALDWIN: Uh... lame? Best (not politically correct) joke: "Christoph Waltz plays a Nazi obsessed with catching Jews. Well, Christoph..." (opens his arms towards the audience) BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: CHRISTOPH WALTZ. "Oscar and Penelope, that's an uber-bingo." OK, Chris, just for this I forgive you for beating the other Chris to the Oscar. OK, now I can go home... Oooooh, Deadpool! And RDJ! Prettiness! "Tony Stark, continued." He's funnier alone than the presenters together. Moving tribute to John Hughes. I barely knew who he was, now I want to see his teen movies. Then I'll kill myself with an Eigthies hairdo. Ooooh, Sam L. Jackson! Ooooh, Uhura! Ooooh, Ben Stiller painted blue! He's hilarious. "It was this or the Nazi uniform." Inglorious references everywhere, but I don't think the movie will gain anything, apart from the Waltz victory. Drat... End of first part. I should have the next one in 12 minutes. Bathroom break. Maybe some food. Oh God, while I waited I looked up some Waterloo clips. With Wellington (Chris Plummer) AND Ney (Dan O'Herlihy). I tell you, my men are never discarded, they are just there in my brain, elbowing each other, and each of them might come out again at any moment... While I waited I also looked up Gettysburg. Now I want to die. Or get an USB port in my brain. Part 3 Yeah, that's what happens when your national TV, MAYBE, gives you the Oscars in reduced version, dubbed by monkeys. One has to make do. Michael Giacchino has just won for something. OH GOD, that one in the background is SPOCK! (the young one) I need Part 2. OOOOH, Gerry Butler! (Did she pronounce it Ge-RARD?) Hmm, a waste of Butler. Ooooh, Sigourney Weaver in the audience. Is anyone else perplexed by the fact that one of the nominated movies' title seems to be "Precious-based-on-the-novel-Push-by-Sapphire"? Is Keanu Reeves still alive? "Peace, harmony and conservation"... I'll have more to say on this, and not about "Avatar". BEST LEADING ACTOR: I'll be happy if Jeff Bridges wins, he's a cool actor and a nice man. Oh, Michelle Pfeiffer is saying just the same! Clooney is nice and humble. Colin Firth is... Colin Firth, I have to see his movie. Morgan Freeman is a legend, hasn't he won a dozen Oscars already? Gotta check. But who is Jeremy Something from "The Hurt Locker"? He looks cute, a cross between Tobey Maguire and James MacAvoy. And the winner is... JEFF BRIDGES! Yay!!! You deserve it, man. LOL, he's going crazy. And getting maudlin. This brings a tear to my eye. Handsome, charismatic and emotional. Great man. LOL, they'll drag him from the stage in a moment. Hooray for The Dude! BEST LEADING ACTRESS: I'm a bit less involved... I like Bullock, she was one of my avatars. Helen Mirren is gorgeous AND has kissed Chris Plummer, I've liked her for a long time. I don't know the blonde girl... Gaboree sounds like she has an incredible story, oh my, she's crying. Now I'm rooting for her. Finally I'll quote Stanley Tucci: "Meryl, what can I say?" And the winner is... SANDRA BULLOCK! Great crowning of a great career! A bit stiff... I hope she's not had too much Botox. My, now she's getting tearful too. BEST DIRECTOR: I'm rooting for Clint... not for Cameron... Bigelow is the dark horse... Quentin, of course. What, no Clint? And the winner is... KATHRYN BIGELOW! First woman winner, now this is way cool! She also has a cool dress. She's been directing for a lifetime, I'm sure I've seen something and I liked it (don't remember now) and I just have to see "The Hurt Locker". Nice dedication to the soldiers. BEST PICTURE: Now I have a feeling how it's going to go... YES! The Hurt Locker! I rooted for Inglorious, but it was just too crazy. Once again, Bigelow praises the guys and girls in uniform. She's great. Ooookay! I think I don't need to watch Part 3. I was there for the "ooohhh" factor, as you can guess. Yes, it's kitsch and plastic and expensive, but it's a bit of some more beauty in my life. I'll explain later my dislike for Avatar, maybe after I've watched "The Hurt Locker". I'll also have a consolation prize for Chris Plummer. My, this was fun, I'll do it again next year! PS Love the end titles with the soundtracks of so many famous movies. |