Forse più tardi... | Got lots to write, too little time and too much sleepiness (check out below, also before Dec 07, I'm beginning to add some back log), but let me jot down this. Last night I was having a thoughtful conversation with a friend, of the kind I've missed so much these years. I think I said a lot of crap but I was trying to be sincere; the greatest sincerity is admitting "I don't know" (paraphrasing Socrates), but thinking aloud with a friend can be useful to both... I hope. This morning (after dreaming of Doc Samson... it wasn't much of a dream but he was cute with his green hair) I woke up with a thought that often comes to me and could have been good last night. I think - I hope - that most of us, at least us people who try to be honest, shouldn't torment ourselves about past choices, that in every occasion we chose for the best according to the conditions given us. We most always try to do our best with what we are given. One thing my studies of mathematics and physics taught me is a mathematical approach to problems. It might sound dry, but it's useful, and it doesn't at all exclude emotion. It's true that exams never end, like Eduardo says. Every choice is an exam. Apparently you're given precise conditions: if x=2 and y=7, what is z? If you've studied you can solve it - maybe. Because there are other factors. You might be tired, or ill. There might even be a mistake in the way the paper is presented! You might have a moment of panic and ask your neighbour, and if he's mean he gives you the wrong suggestion. You might have studied like a mule but you take a lot to get your bearings and while you're writing hurriedly the time is up. Or the professor just decides he wants to flunk you even if your work was sufficient. None of this is your fault. You did your best with what you had. This is what I always repeat to myself, promising anyway that maybe next time I'll try to tweak the conditions a bit more in my favour - studying more, writing on my wrist those formulae that just can't get into my mind, trying not to piss off the professor, choosing a better schoolmate to ask, bringing Pocket Coffee or sugar cubes for the bad moments, etc. The same goes for life. Every choice is an exam, major or minor, and maybe we don't realize it, but we always give all of ourselves to it. So we should not regret what has been. I'm not sure this really relates to the conversation we had last night... but I just had to write it down. |